As soon as your calculations are in red, you are clear some changes need to be made, and the most common advice is “Just cut expenses.” We are clear this is the most obvious first step, but honestly it feels so hard to do.
The first time you look at your budget to start cutting expenses, two things can happen. First you think it’s impossible to accomplish because it’s not only about not spending money; it’s about lifestyle changes that would affect how we spend money. And while changing a number on the budget is easy, following that change is hard.
For another group, when we look at our very tight expenses, it seems impossible because there isn’t “anything” to cut. We read the common “just cut expenses” lists and think, I already don’t do any of these.
Cutting expenses sounds simple and obvious, but there is an emotional charge that comes with making these changes that can feel heavy and, for many people, prevent them from making the impactful choices that will bring the change.
Cutting expenses is hard but possible
If managing our expenses was so simple, we wouldn’t be having any conversation on this blog. There wouldn’t be a need to fix our budgets, manage our excess, or face the reality of the income not being enough.
If you’re reading this post, it’s because you realize the need to work on your expenses. You have probably tried a few things but haven’t seen the long-lasting results of the cuts implemented.
So, yes, cutting expenses is hard, but it’s totally possible. Possible while having the real lifestyle you want, not what is imposed on us by social media. It is possible to look closely at our expenses and make adjustments that feel correct for our families, and those are the ones that really make a difference.
Comfort and Habits
While we often think that expenses are just about reducing numbers, the truth is that our expenses reflect our habits in other areas. Habits could work for or against our financial goals. How quickly can we identify that effect? How willing are we to put our goals before the immediate comfort?
The just cut expenses advice is hard because with every decision to cut an expense comes the need to adjust our habits. With a cut expense comes probably the need to reduce or change how I’m getting comfort.
I’m not suggesting that we shouldn’t have comfort, feel good, or do things you enjoy. What we need to look at is if the comfort brought is really the one we need. Small purchases, which add up very fast, provide a temporary comfort that just throws us in a spending cycle. Thinking about these things can be really hard but is part of the process of making adjustments.
Same thing with habits, for example, getting a drink or a snack every time I’m at the gas station or at the checkout lane. We could be so used to doing those things that they bring a sense of routine and familiarity, and it can be very challenging to break out from them. If you have little ones, they can too become very used to doing or getting certain things, which can make the expense cutting hard as well.
Now, I don’t say all this to make you feel guilty. I want to bring awareness to the fact that when we intend to cut expenses, we aren’t just looking at the numbers; we are paying attention to our habits and sources of comfort. Working on those requires more effort and intentionality.
The Emotional Load of Change
Working on changing those habits requires a lot of energy, decision-making, planning, and focus. The issue is that most of us are already stressed out by the financial situation we are in. Adding changes that affect the routines can bring a bigger load of emotions.
“Just cut expenses” sounds well-calculated, but it is loaded with emotions, and we need to prep ourselves for these. Both the ones we will feel and the ones that those around us will feel.
If your family is used to ordering dessert when dining out, that is the one small change you want to implement. The feelings are going to come out, especially in the kids. But we as adults feel all the emotions as well, and we would rather not ignore them; we need to get ready to work them out.
Try to plan for those changes ahead of time, feel the emotions, and then go implement. I’ll share more later about how we communicate the changes to the kids/teens, but prepping everyone for the changes to come is important to make this load less heavy.
Not managing the emotional load will block the progress of our expense cuts and send us back to using the spending for our comfort.
The Fear of Less
Among those emotions is one we don’t like to mention, the fear of less. And we aren’t talking here about the worry of not having enough or not being able to meet our needs. I’m referring to the fear of having less than our peers, less than what we dreamed, less than what we thought was possible.
Cutting expenses sounds like there will be less fun, less things, less joy, less status, and less safety. Again, this is deep work we need to do that goes beyond changing numbers on the spreadsheet.
Less is not a bad thing in itself; it could be very helpful eventually. But we resist it, and that shows in how we approach the expenses; it is difficult to imagine our lives with less. So we prefer to postpone the decisions or avoid them at all.
What if we take some time to think about the real things we want less of? What would be on your less list: stress, worry, anxiety, negative balances, “surprise bills,” and regrets?
Paying attention to how we see less in our lives could be the turning point to start the process of making cutting expenses less hard.
It is not enough to just cut expenses
We’ve talked about how cutting expenses is hard, and there are probably a lot more reasons for it, but to have a real impact on our budgets and our lives, cutting is not enough. I remember deciding to cut our food budget by never eating out again. You have most likely made that decision as well, and I can guess it didn’t go as well either.
There were months we spent even more than usual. Why? Because, as mentioned before, the emotional load was huge, and we went back to the comfort of treating ourselves with takeout or not cooking.
I had to take a step back and start to look at when, where, and why we were spending that much on food. What habits were in place? What comfort was I getting from not cooking?
After being aware of those details, we started to take action. Small steps, small changes that we have been able to keep up with. And that again doesn’t have a sad connotation to it. Currently we go out to eat once a month, unless there is a special celebration, and we have takeout as an emergency option once a month.
Going out less makes that one time even more special; it’s a family thing we plan for. We are expecting it, we treasure it, and that brings more joy.
Don’t just cut expenses
You already know that just going in and cutting expenses is hard, but we also need to do it. If there’s one thing I hope you take from all of this, it’s don’t just cut expenses. Find clarity first about your expenses.
Often, we jump straight to reducing categories, reducing comfort, and reducing joy without truly understanding what our spending is doing for us. And when we skip that understanding, the changes rarely last.
Instead of asking, “What can I cut?” Try asking:
- What am I noticing?
- Where does my money tend to go when I’m tired?
- When do we spend for convenience?
- What expenses bring relief, and which ones quietly add stress?
This shift matters because awareness creates the opportunity to make different choices. Once you see the patterns, you’re no longer forcing change; you’re choosing to change.
From there, progress can look much gentler:
- noticing patterns without judgment
- choosing intention over impulse
- adjusting slowly, in ways that fit your real life
Cutting expenses doesn’t have to feel like punishment or deprivation. When it’s rooted in understanding, it becomes a series of small, thoughtful decisions that actually support the life you want.
